As an EI Strategist™, I often find that life's most poignant leadership lessons appear in unexpected places. Recently, while leaving Costco, I witnessed an interaction that perfectly illustrates the challenges facing today's managers.
A man was pushing his shopping cart through the parking lot, searching for his car. His frustration mounted visibly as he realized it wasn't where he expected.
Then I noticed his wife driving toward the door, clearly intending to pick him up at the entrance - a thoughtful gesture given the cold weather.
Instead of appreciating this consideration, he shouted at her to return to their original parking spot as he was already on his way, unable to let go of his initial expectation.
This scene crystalized something I've observed repeatedly in organizational settings: what I call "Expectation Attachment Syndrome."
Like that frustrated shopper, many managers become so fixated on their original plans and expectations that they fail to recognize better solutions emerging from their team members.
Recent research underscores the urgency of addressing this management crisis:
• Gartner research reveals managers now supervise three times as many employees as they did in 2017
• The UKG Workforce Institute reports 86% of managers are experiencing job burnout
• Traditional management approaches are failing under increased complexity and workload
The consequences of this strain manifest in ways that mirror our parking lot scenario:
• Rigid adherence to predetermined solutions
• Failure to recognize and appreciate employee initiative
• Breakdown in communication and trust
• Missed opportunities for innovation and improvement
• Escalating frustration on both sides
This is precisely why we developed Manager Assist™. The program addresses these fundamental challenges by replacing personality-driven management with systematic EI Systems™-based approaches. Through our structured methodology, managers also learn to:
1. Release Expectation Attachment
2. Recognize and value employee initiative
3. Maintain emotional regulation under pressure
4. Foster open communication channels
5. Build trust through empathy and recognition
Manager Assist™ delivers these competencies through:
• EI Systems Coaching™
• Real-time observation and feedback
• Practical scenario-based learning
• Emotional regulation techniques
• Advanced communication strategies
The parking lot incident illustrates why traditional management approaches are failing in today's complex workplace. Just as that husband couldn't see his wife's thoughtful intention through his frustration,
managers often miss their teams' valuable insights and initiatives because they're too attached to their own expectations and methods.
This is particularly critical given the increased spans of control managers now handle. With three times more direct reports than just a few years ago, managers can't afford to waste energy fighting against positive initiatives just because they didn't originate from their own plans.
The 86% burnout rate among managers isn't surprising when we consider how much energy is wasted on ineffective management approaches. Just like our frustrated shopper, managers often create their own stress by refusing to adapt to better solutions.
Through Manager Assist™, we're seeing transformative results as leaders learn to release rigid expectations and embrace more fluid, emotionally intelligent approaches to leadership.
They're learning to recognize and appreciate team members' initiatives, just as that husband could have appreciated his wife's thoughtful solution.
The future of management isn't about controlling from a fixed position - it's about creating an environment where good ideas can emerge from anywhere in the organization. It's about having the emotional intelligence to recognize and appreciate those ideas, even when they differ from our original expectations.
As we continue to support organizations through these challenging times, we're committed to helping managers develop the emotional intelligence and systematic approaches needed to thrive in this new reality.
Because in the end, effective management isn't about standing in the cold, insisting on our original plan - it's about recognizing and embracing better solutions, wherever they may come from.
The choice is clear: we can either evolve our management approaches or watch as rising pressures and outdated methods continue to drive burnout and dysfunction. With Manager Assist™, we're choosing evolution leader by leader.
If you’re looking for a trusted partner to enhance your organization’s leadership capacity, drive cultural transformation, or unlock your team’s potential, I welcome the opportunity to collaborate.
Let’s connect and discuss how I can help you achieve your vision for success. -
(c) 2025 Carlos Raposo Coaching LLC. All rights reserved.
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